Episode One: Being with Energy and a Creek

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Cassandra takes you to the creek for a chat about courage as a muscle, half birthdays, stuck-ness, energy patterns, and more. Gratitude for Ernest the dog and fellow explorer and the forest and all its beings for sharing this experience with Cassandra.

Aired on Tuesday June 21, 2022 - on the Summer Solstice

Read behind-the-scenes notes and the full transcript.


Cassandra walked along a ravine while Ernest ran up and down the hilly sides. She recorded the creek note on June 5, 2022 and published the episode on June 20, 2022.

Cassandra mentioned the 5Rhythms, which she has studied and practiced on and off for the past 13 years.

Cassandra also mentioned the approach of using emoji coffee cups to signify energy level for tasks. โ˜• = not much energy needed / โ˜•โ˜•โ˜• = lots of energy needed. The approach might work very well for you but doesn't really for Cassandra! Take a listen or a read to find out why.

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Full Transcript

[00:00:00] Hi there.

[00:00:12] Welcome to Be With Cassandra. I am your host, Cassandra Ellis.

[00:00:21] I bring you episode one.

[00:00:23] You can listen to episode zero and the trailer. They're both available. [short laugh] And they both were shared quite a while ago. So.

[00:00:36] Here we are again in this present moment. And I found myself a little while ago next to a creek in a nearby forest. And felt inspired to take out my phone and turn on the voice memo recording. And so. We'll shift to that very soon. [00:01:00]

[00:01:00] Before we go to the creek, I just finished a book called Rejection Proof by Jia Jiang.

[00:01:10] And I wanted to read a quote from it that resonated.

[00:01:15] He writes, "Contrary to popular belief, courage, the ability to do something that's frightening, such as asking for what you need or want or do the right thing, amid rejection and disapproval, is not born but gained. It's like a muscle. You need to keep exercising it to keep it strong. Otherwise it might weaken or even atrophy.

[00:01:45] So I use rejection attempts to continue to exercise my courage muscle, stay mentally strong, and keep my confidence flowing." [00:02:00]

[00:02:01] Of course. There's a lot to this quote.

[00:02:06] Take what you want from it. Leave the rest.

[00:02:12] We'll shift over to my time at the creek now.

[00:02:15] (creek time)

[00:02:15] Maybe this will be a thing we'll see. For now, it's this present moment. I'm by the creek. Ernest just sat down smile in voice and is looking around.

[00:02:41] It's raining a bit. The creek is bringing me inspiration and joy.

[00:02:58] Today is my half birthday.[00:03:00]

[00:03:06] Maybe for the past, like 10 years or so, I've come to think of my half birthday as a very personal inner celebration rather than how birthdays are usually for me and how I think of them as both an inner and an external celebration, but this half birthday, you know, I mean, maybe you don't know. I, I work and play with young children often,

[00:03:45] usually two and a half to six year olds lately. I've also been working with slightly older children, but you know, these younger children, their- their half birthdays- once they, [00:04:00] you know, once they kind of get into that, like slightly older range, they, they know their birthday and they might know their half birthdays and, and the anticipation and,

[00:04:16] and so you know, it, it's something I, I hold onto and, you know, personal celebrations that might just have a significance, like literally purely only for you- purely for me.

[00:04:42] They, they could even be like slightly, even more special, um, or rather, you know, it's, it's not really a comparison to these, like, more public celebrations.[00:05:00]

[00:05:00] Anyways, I've been moving with a lot of stuckness , [laugh] which is a funny way to say that. There has been movement at the same time as stuckness I've been exploring my feelings of stuckness. And, uh, specifically in relation to a new project that I've been working on for, for a little while now, I mean, it's been, it's been about like two years of like underground work.

[00:05:45] and it's been more like, you know, maybe a little less than a year of like, oh, this is like a tangible, like, this could be a tangible project, [laughs] a digitally tangible project. Um, [00:06:00] and a lot of self-doubt has come up about it recently. And a lot of other projects have been prioritized over this project, which has made a lot of rational, necessary sense and, you know, has played a part with my self doubt and anxiety and fear of putting myself out there.

[00:06:33] The past few days, I, I have felt like a little bit more um, energy to it, of, of more life to, to returning to this project and, and moving onto the next steps of making it actually digitally, [00:07:00] tangible [laugh] and out beyond myself and my small creative circle of people with whom I've been working- Ernest, uh, somehow had a baby slug on his back. I mean, I know exactly how- he loves to roll.

[00:07:22] Yeah. So, you know, with it being June? I mean, I'm standing in my raincoat in the rain, but you know, just wearing my raincoat, not also like several jackets underneath. So, you know, this, this movement through spring has, you know, brought that energy. So yeah, I, I. [00:08:00] I'm thinking the, the purpose of my sharing right now is really to, to express my gratitude for, I guess, my like gratitude that life is not simply just one day. [laughs] That there's a lot to life as a human and

[00:08:40] I I'm beyond grateful that I am standing here right now and have lived a number of years. And

[00:08:55] you know, we'll see what happens with [00:09:00] how many more years. Uh, but yeah, that, that there's, that each day brings its own energy and stuck is a form of energy in a way. Like there there's, there's still life there. It's not. Uh, there's still something that's, that's emanating some type of energy from that. And now there's, you know, in this moment there's a little, there's different type of energy where it's, it's wanting to be, you know, it's not like this quick flowing creek that I'm standing next to.

[00:09:56] Maybe it's like [00:10:00] something that's thawing? Something that is, you know, really dry soil. That's, that's having water brought back to it? You know, it's this like this, um, bringing some more- some more flow into, into my personal energy...

[00:10:37] temperature? [laughs] my energy rhythm.

[00:10:42] So, I'm curious what your energy rhythm is like. What words you might attach to it? What metaphors or [00:11:00] similes or analogies. I often lean heavily on the natural world for that. Maybe that works for you. Maybe there's something else that works for you of, of putting some, some thought, some feeling, some- and then also some words, or maybe some images to what your energy is like right now, what it was like yesterday.

[00:11:34] Um, but I don't know if it's levels, like, I don't know if. You know, a lot of people, uh, you know, make little coffee cups of like how much energy does this task require of me? And that might very well work for, for that person. Um, but you know, the, the levels tend to, you know, evoke [00:12:00] hierarchy and I don't know if it's necessarily like that.

[00:12:07] You know, I, I think of the five rhythms that Gabrielle Roth, um, that came to Gabrielle Roth and through her and, and through others who were, were, and are in ecstatic and freeform movement and how, you know, the, the five rhythms of, of let's see if I can get them of flow- flowing, staccato, chaos, lyrical, and stillness.

[00:12:34] And, you know, there's there's movement and there's energy in all of those rhythms. Yes, even stillness. There's there's life in all of those. It's not like stillness is death and also there's even movement in death. So, so yeah, it's I, I wonder how we can [00:13:00] remember the circular nature, the cyclical nature, the network nature of energy, rather than a hierarchical system of, oh, this takes one coffee cup versus three coffee cups or versus, like- "oh, I need to do this task in the morning, cuz I have the most energy in the morning."

[00:13:36] Um, you know, we're, we're ever changing and there's rhythm to it. It's not like every single moment is totally completely new and can't be related- you know, isn't a part of a pattern. We do have patterns. But maybe not all of our [00:14:00] patterns are hierarchical and are linear. Probably there's more non-linear, non-hierarchical patterns in one's life than hierarchical and linear.

[00:14:16] [laughs] Probably. Given that I'm surrounded by an incredible abundance of green.

[00:14:27] And just how all of these plants grow and these bugs grow in patterns that are not linear.

[00:14:43] So let me know your thoughts, your feelings, your words, your images, your sounds. Hmm.

[00:14:58] I'd love to hear. [00:15:00] And, uh, yeah, that's all for now. [birds chirp in background]

[00:15:16] (ending) Earlier before recording this. I was relistening to the trailer of this podcast. And at the end, I said the first episode would drop in June, 2021.

[00:15:32] I got the year wrong, but I got the month. Right.

[00:15:39] Pretty wild.

[00:15:45] Well, before I say goodbye. I invite you to touch in with your energy rhythms. Right now. Over this week. I invite you to work your muscle of [00:16:00] courage.

[00:16:02] Right now in this week and in ways that resonate for you. And fair where you are right now in life.

[00:16:17] Maybe that's revisiting. A project that.

[00:16:22] You haven't touched in a while, but still feels near and dear to your heart.

[00:16:28] Or maybe it's. Something totally. New for you.

[00:16:36] Whether it's returning to. We're starting fresh with something.

[00:16:43] I invite you to walk with courage and energy.

[00:16:49] Till next time. Bye for now.

[00:16:52] [00:17:00]

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