Snuggled in between the harvest full moon yesterday and the autumnal equinox (or spring equinox in the southern hemisphere) tomorrow, I published "episode zero" of my newly renamed podcast earlier today. Months ago I published the trailer of the podcast. I share about the whys and hows of the renaming of this podcast in this very episode...
Would you like to take a listen? Give your ears the companionship of my voice (and birds!) for a short 10 minutes. (Spotify or here to listen and subscribe through all the main podcast listening platforms)
Would you like to read the transcript? Give your eyes the companionship of my speaking voice in text form.
I've felt nervous writing to you the past two weeks. I do trust a groove will unfold over time though much of the anxiety stems from this truth: my go-to is to be really unsupportive of myself – undercutting and mean, sometimes incredibly self-sabotaging to myself.
The other simultaneous truth: all the beings with whom I'm connected right now are incredibly supportive of me and my endeavors.
A heap of recent experiences and reflections on past experiences (as is usually the case) have ushered me towards more clearly seeing how unsupportive I am of myself.
In witnessing the vividly stark contrast of super supportive beings surrounding me (looking at you, yes... you 😉) and super unsupportive self-talk, I'm able to further disentangle myself from this inner rat's nest.
I share this for two reasons:
- I wish for you to know how your presence and support positively affect me.
- I wish to continue inviting in vulnerability through experimentation and play – and experimentation and play through vulnerability.
It is my vision for us to be as playful or experimental as we wish to be here. For me, play and experimentation are inherently intertwined with vulnerability.
When welcoming in play and experimentation, one also invites in messiness, mistakes, confusion, uncertainty, change... and all that can make one feel quite vulnerable!
The word 'vulnerable' can totally have a negative connotation. Being vulnerable isn't necessarily a positive or welcome thing – especially if you are in a space or place in which you DO NOT feel safe (physically, emotionally, psychologically, relationally or in any other way).
Though when you're in a space or place where you DO feel safe and you feel empowered to be open, play and experimentation really can flourish!
When I harp on myself, I don't feel safe with myself... so there goes play and experimentation... flying out the window – or more like hiding under the bed from the frightening monsters.
Saturday evening I began crafting a collage to give more tangibility, language, colors, layers, and textures to this change process of disentangling and rekindling. The header includes a part of the collage and here's another part:
I'm calling in self-support for myself... and for you, too. Is there something in your life that you could be much more supportive of?
I imagine there's at least one thing...
This new podcast – and specifically hearing my own voice – is one of the many projects that I am gently welcoming in with hugs of self-support.
May we each invite in a nurturing sense of safety for ourselves and for each other... so we can play and experiment to our heart's content... with our own projects and alongside one another.
Heading outdoors now to enjoy the sun with Ernest,