Earlier this week, I was sitting at a table right by the door of the coffee shop I frequent.
I looked up and witnessed a woman, perhaps stepping into a grandmothering role, pulling a stroller towards the door. The stroller held the littlest of twin babes. She turned around, clearly having done this many times, starting to walk backwards and pull the stroller through the door.
We enter an unintended dance – she swings the door and then turns while I stand and hold the open door.
"Oh, I got it," she says warmly.
"I know you got it" I say with a smile.
She passes off the door-holding to me for that brief moment, which fully shifts her two hands' responsibilities to guide the littles' stroller out into the world.
A brief yet potent exchange.
A brief yet potent dance.
Help can often be provided because the person is perceived as not having it figured out, not being able to do it themselves, not "getting it."
But the dance shared in that moment felt different – "I got it" / "I know you got it" and I'm here and will happily hold the door / yes, it's a touch helpful, thank you.
I know you've got it.
And I'd love to join in on your life – for a brief yet potent moment.
I know you've got it.
And I'd love to take this moment to stand and take a peek at the littles tucked in to the sturdy two level stroller.
I know you've got it.
And can I step into this dance with you?
Now, sometimes it's very much the opposite: "I know you've got it and I'll step away to give you space, to not help." Sometimes what is requested or desired is space rather than help.
"Do you want space or help?" is the question that's called in.
"Oh, okay, you've got it, dear tomato plant, I don't need to give you more fertilizer."
"Oh okay, you've got it, dear dog, I can pause so you can respond to my first request."
"Oh okay, dear little one, you want to open that container on your own, I can stay over here."
And another nuanced one: "Oh okay, this is the one thing you'd like help with but not that other thing. Yes, I can step in and help with that one thing."
The dance of being with sometimes feels like doors simultaneously being held open and pulled shut. Perhaps that's why the grace of that brief moment felt so potent.
"I got it." "I know you do."
This weekend, I wonder how help and space can dance between the being with doorways for you and your connections.
I appreciate you being with me here in this little doorway of togetherness on the Internet,
Cassandra