I have so many thoughts and I can't discern which ones I actually feel ready to share and which ones want to be hidden for a bit longer (and there's a million others that are total question marks).
I'm also curious: how are you today?
[breathes – pauses – keeps moving]
Okay, this is what wants to be shared in this moment:
I just received a video from a smart, thoughtful, and newer-to-me human. In this video, he shared his feedback about the latest Supportive Spiral (#2!! yay!) that we recently co-hosted.
(don't know what the Supportive Spiral is? you don't have to know what it is to dive into what I've written here. whether you want to spiral into my writing here or my writing about Supportive Spirals, the sequence is yours to design – here's the Supportive Spiral link)
I had been awaiting news about if he wanted to co-host more Supportive Spirals as well as hear how his experience was.
(For years, many years) I've been practicing letting the inner voices of doubt, comparison, and rejection be with me alongside the inner voices of strength, love, and courage. I've been practicing giving all the inner voices space to share, without acting on all the inner desired reactions (however much I want to).
(For less years, but still, years) I've been practicing following up with people and intentionally inviting purposeful feedback. I've been practicing being open to the feedback (however much I want to simultaneously let it consume me and push it away).
All of this practicing has led me to, right now – yes, really! right now, in this present moment!! – meeting my deep desire for co-creation.
If you're in the mood, let's get more into this.
At the beginning of these first two Supportive Spirals, I have chosen to intentionally say (likely not verbatim, but almost):
All that came before was designed by me, my past experiences and past relationships. Now that you have shown up today, we get to co-design this experiment in belonging.
Yes, this idea of Supportive Spirals came to me but it's not mine. It's not original. It's not one-of-a-kind.
Simultaneously, it is magic. It means a lot to me. I have a deep affinity towards this idea that has now become a living project.
Already, it seems it has struck a gently resonant chord with those who have taken part.
I could wish to –
contain the chord in an attempt to carry the same gentleness each and every time. I could wish to contain the chord out of fear of hard-to-know-what-to-do-with feedback. But if I contain it for those or other reasons, I actually stifle the sound.
I – and the idea – are called to move with the experiences and feedback I and it dance with and receive. The chord, and I as its initiator, may have the final say on what feedback actually shifts the idea as a whole. However, the idea and I with it will lose some of our luster when we close off to the movements that are asking to be heard.
This smart and thoughtful human shared the thing that felt off for him and then he shared how it could be different.
[practices being with the desire to shrink and bolt – breathes with recognition of something new – keeps moving]
I realized I loved how he spoke to something I hadn't even known how to approach.
I loved how I felt exactly the same way that he did about having this odd piece of paper with a spiral drawn on it and not knowing what to do with it after the gathering.
This is co-creation –
One being does their best in developing an idea and takes it as far as they can, shares it with others, and then another being does their best in furthering the idea, taking it as far as they can. And back and forth. And on and on.
The necessity here is that those "others" who are receiving the idea and that "another being" who is doing their best in furthering the idea – all those beings need to lead with their differences when reconnecting with that first "one being." (either you're with me now or you're not. if not, re-read that previous paragraph and I think we'll be back together on the same page)
It might have been the commonalities between each of us that initially brought us together but it's the differences that further ideas. Both are necessary for that delicious co-creation I'm desiring (and maybe you are to).
That desirable, delicious co-creation?
It's what offers each of us the ability to practice being with change. Change will happen whether or not I want it to happen. This way of co-creating can offer me, you, and us space, time, and containers to practice change.
By practicing change, others' feedback transforms rather than squelches. It enlivens rather than deadens. It gathers and expands the resonance.
I'm curious –
What are your experiences with co-creation?
What ideas can you take further than I can?
Comments are open if you're a Be With Cassandra member. It's free to become a member if you aren't already or want to pass this onto someone in your circle.
Til next time, juicy, juicy co-creator,
want more reading?
or want to read about surprises, a crow, and a blue ball? (on a past Substack newsletter of mine called experiments in belonging)
the doorway is always open to unsubscribing or simply taking a break for awhile ~ trusting our paths have crossed with intention and will part ways with intention ~
want another form of connection?
check out the Supportive Spiral details. perhaps we'll co-host some together in a community of yours!